Reflections after listening to the second webinar of the #unboundeq course

I just finished listening to the second webinar of the #unboundeq course. What an amazing line up of women! The topic was equity and I guess in general social activism and what it takes to be part of a social global movement fighting inequalities on a larger scale.

My mind is racing and its not easy to put down my thoughts in a structured way. So in no particular order, these are the things that stuck with me:

1. Who has to do the anti-racism / social justice labour in a classroom? Maha was talking about the emotional labour her minority students have to do when she is teaching around equity in her class in Egypt and how increasingly uncomfortable she felt forcing the few minority students to 'do all the work'. She spoke about strategies she employed such as pre-readings, to relieve her students of some of the labour of explaining minority experience to dominant groups. I had a similar conversation recently about this with my colleagues. We ran a privilege walk activity (slightly amended) with 200 marketing students at our institution last week. Our context is different, as the majority of our students are of colour. Among the 200 students we had 2 white male students. In the privilege walk, their presence was important - unsurprisingly they ended up right in front - although they stayed in the process, I could see how uncomfortable they were and one of them came to his lecturer after the activity complaining about how unfair he found the process.

I remember another instance last year with first year Design students - also a predominantly black group of students. While my co-facilitator introduced the privilege walk, I watched some of students sneaking out of the room - four coloured female students and the one white student who is part of the class. I wondered whether we should have stepped in and tried and speak to them to at least stay and observe the process, but then the  exercise was about to start and I didn’t have time to consult with my colleagues. After the walk was over, and in our debrief session with the course lecturers, I brought this up again, as it was sitting uncomfortably with me. How can we address white privilege but allow whiteness to leave the conversation? My co-facilitator jumped in and argued that yes, we would have had to, as the only white student leaving the room meant, that instead of the white student standing in the front, now it had to be coloured men and women carrying the emotional labour of being located in the position of privilege. The instructors did not agree with her, emphasising their responsibility toward all students (the all lives matter argument?), but in particular toward this young white female student. They even went a step further, starting to question the whole process, critiquing our facilitation style, which they felt was “too aggressive,” and “too violent” (in particular they attacked my black co-facilitator who was labeled as an “an angry black woman”).

The instructors raised concerns around the  potential trauma we exposed students to, claiming it would just cause racial conflict in the classroom, and in general it would not be helpful in terms of racial reconciliation. And, their concerns around trauma were not just targeted toward the students. The instructors mentioned the trauma that they themselves experienced by taking part of the exercise.

This speaks to so many of topics that were raised in the conversation - the difficulties and 'fraughtness' of this work in untransformed spaces, among colleagues at different levels of consciousness, about care for self and other, compassion and the ethics of doing this work. As an academic staff developer I don't have the opportunity to work with students over a longer period of time. I am often called in for a 2 hour intervention and that's it - how do you prepare students, follow up with students, embed this kind of work in a longer process? 

2. The other things that stuck with me, was Cheri talking about lacking a vision for a decolonised society - how would such a society look like?  I can empathise with how difficult this is. As a second part to the privilege walk we ask students to come up with statements that would turn the privilege grid around - get others to the front. And its amazing how hard students find that. Dominant narratives are so strong, the system we are in influences us so heavily, it's hard to step out of it and envision/dream up a new grid. Some of the statements our students came up with were for example:

- if you speak more then three South African language take a step forward

- if you believe women should earn the same as men take a step forward

- if you went out of your way to learn about a different culture take a step forward

- if you have taken up a cause that does not directly affect you take a step forward

- if you had a mixed-race group of friends growing up take a step forward

- if you get married today and can invite more than 100 family members take a step forward

- if you are able to take care of yourself (clean, cook etc) take a step forward

- if you can work under pressure take a step forward

- if you have ever been in an inter-racial relationship take a step forward

- if you believe black is beautiful take a step forward

- if you have a clan name take a step forward

- if you have more than one mother figure take a step forward (eg Mom, Gogo, Mam'Ncane, Mom'Khulu...)

- If you value your culture and participate in cultural activities take a step forward

I find this second part to the privilege walk really important, because it allows, even just for a short while, to embody a grid that is different from the one we are in now. It also allows for useful conversation starters into topics such as black economic empowerment, redress, land redistribution, what giving up privilege would mean. What happens in the new grid, is that although other people are positioned at the front, in general everyone is much closer together, the inequalities are far less pronounced than in the initial grid. So in some ways its a hopeful glance of a what a more equitable society would look like and students in general all feel more comfortable in their positions in the grid.

3. And finally the importance of being a white ally. I liked the term 'weaponising whiteness'. I have written about becoming an ally in a previous post. I tend to wait and see if either students or others step in and only open my mouth when nobody else does. Maybe I need to start speaking out earlier. Not waiting to be called to engage but engage on my own terms. I find it a fine balance between stepping back and letting others speak and knowing when it's necessary to step back in. Also the idea of picking your fights and reading the contexts right to see whether speaking out will have any impact at all resonates with me. I have seen colleagues getting burned out by feeling they need to speak out at any injustice felt/seen/experienced. It is a privilege to be able to step in and out as we choose - I am very aware of that. A privilege that I embody because of my whiteness. For now I can retreat to a safe white space - my colleagues still trust me enough. I can move between spaces easily, which for my colleagues of colour is not possible anymore. For how long I can still move between different camps, I don't know.